Sermon Transcript

“Curing Conflict”
Rev. Dustin A. Largent
6/22/2025

The Absurdity of Church Divisions

Last week we got into talking about heavenly wisdom. And what we found is that heavenly wisdom actually ends up causing peace. It causes people to want to be peacemakers and to be lovers of peace. James is going to drill down on that whole topic about peace, especially peace within the church.

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I don't know if you've noticed, but even within the church, there sometimes isn't a lot of peace. People within churches split. How many of you have ever heard of a church that split? How many of you were part of a church that split? I mean, there have been churches that have split over dumb stuff—really stupid stuff.

As a matter of fact, I went to ChatGPT this week. How many of you have ever used ChatGPT? A couple of you have. “No, it's evil, you know, the devil.” No, I just said, “Hey, ChatGPT, I want actual true stories of real churches that have split over really stupid stuff. Give me a top 10 list.” And so it gave me a top 10 list of churches and why they split. These are actual church splits that have been recorded.

Here’s just a couple of them to give you a quick taste:

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• There was a dispute over the name of a church. One group wanted to name it Harmony Baptist Church, and the other wanted Unity Baptist. Ironically, they couldn’t agree, so they split and planted two churches—one called Harmony and the other Unity. How dumb is that? Is that what God wants in His church?

• Number nine: There was an argument over whether Jesus was going to come in the middle of the tribulation or before it. A Sunday school teacher had a theological throwdown over the rapture’s timing. The pastor tried to stay neutral, and both teachers left and started their own churches. Over when Jesus is coming back! We don’t even know exactly when that’s going to be.

• Number eight: A church divided over whether it was right to clap after a baptism. One camp thought clapping was a holy celebration; the other thought it was emotional chaos and irreverent. So the clappers clapped their way out the door.

• Number seven: At a potluck, people literally divided over whether it was okay to serve deviled eggs. Some insisted they be rebranded as “Angelical Ovals.” The Angelical Oval people had their own church, and the deviled egg people had theirs.

• Number six: A division over grape juice versus wine for communion. One side said it had to be fermented or it wasn’t real communion. So, they split.

• Number five: Whether or not Adam had a belly button. One group said he didn’t because he wasn’t born of a woman. They got into a dispute and split the church.

• Another church split over a piano bench. Someone moved it an inch to the left. The next week, it was moved back. That was enough to divide the church.

• Now, we won’t have this problem because I’m nice and clean-shaven. I like to keep it smooth—my wife does too. But there was a division over the length of the pastor’s beard. A facial hair feud erupted. Some believed the pastor’s beard was unkempt and unholy. Others said Jesus likely had one like that. Eventually, the bearded people stayed, and half the congregation didn’t.​

• Number two: There was a church potluck, and a man received a larger piece of fried chicken than someone else. Accusations of favoritism were fried up, tempers sizzled, and eventually a new church was founded—possibly with a new chicken quota system.

• And number one: You’ve heard this one. There actually was a church that divided over the color of the carpet. They had to put in new carpet and split down the middle over whether to install red or blue carpet in the sanctuary. The red team left and planted their own church. And guess what color carpet they put in? Red. Yes—because they knew what was going on.

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The Root of Church Conflict

Now, I look at these and I think, “This is so dumb.” Why do we have these quarrels? But you can’t let yourself off the hook. Because we get quarrels in here, in our church, too. People quarrel with each other. Someone says something you don’t like, and the next thing you know, you’re talking to someone else: “Well, I don’t like that person,” and “That person blah blah blah…” And all of a sudden, there’s bitterness. There’s that faction over there, and this faction over here. You get these things all the time in the church.

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Friends, it should not be that way. That type of division is not welcome at SonRise Bible Church. It’s not welcome in God’s family. It shouldn’t be that way. And Paul knows it. Paul sees it in the church in Jerusalem and says, “Let me explain to you why you have those divisions.” Because maybe if you understood why those divisions existed, maybe you could do something about it.

James is practical. So is God. And He says, “Let me help you.”

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The Source of Quarrels According to James

So even if you're not a Christian today, even if you don't believe in God, this is going to help you to understand how to resolve conflicts. Because it explains why there are conflicts just in general, but particularly within a church. Let’s take a look at it. We’re in James 4:1, and we’re in the very first verse:

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“What causes fights and quarrels among you?” — James 4:1 Don’t rush past that question. Think about that for a second. Just right now. What is it? Think about some issue you’ve got with somebody—some dude at work, some gal at your coffee shop, whatever. Think of what that quarrel is and why that division is there.

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What’s the common denominator between all the cases we mentioned? Blue carpet versus red carpet. Bigger piece of chicken, smaller piece of chicken. The piano seat got moved. What’s the common denominator for all of these? James wants you to understand this and get a grip on what’s causing the divisions within our church. What’s the cause of a spat between you and your brother or sister here at SonRise? Listen to what James says: “Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” — James 4:1 There’s another version I like. Instead of the NIV, it says: “Don’t they come from pleasures that wage war in your members?”

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Now I can hear you. You’re sitting there like, “Dustin, that’s not right. That’s not true. The reason why I have this quarrel is because that person’s a jerk. Because that person is wrong. It’s not my fault. It’s not my desires within me that cause this division. That’s not the issue. It’s because they’re wrong. It’s because they’re selfish. It’s because they are unreasonable. It’s because they hurt my feelings. It’s their fault. That’s the reason why this division is here.”

Okay. I get that. Listen—cool your jets. I hear you. You’re coming at me with that. I understand. But you don’t have to convince me. You have to convince God and James. Because I’m telling you what James says. I’m telling you what God says through the Apostle James.

And he says that those divisions among you in the church are the result of desires that battle within you.

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The Source of Quarrels According to James

So even if you're not a Christian today, even if you don't believe in God, this is going to help you understand how to resolve conflicts. Because it explains why there are conflicts in general, but particularly within a church. Let’s take a look at it. We’re in James chapter 4, verse 1: “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” — James 4:1

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Don’t rush past that question. Think about it for a second. What is it? Think about some issue you’ve got with somebody—someone at work, someone at your coffee shop, wherever. Think of what that quarrel is and why it’s there. Why is that division there? What’s the common denominator between all the cases we mentioned? Blue carpet vs. red carpet. Bigger piece of chicken vs. smaller piece. The piano seat got moved. What’s the common denominator for all of these?James wants you to understand this and get a grip on what’s causing the divisions within our church. What’s the cause of a spat between you and your brother or sister here at SonRise? Listen to what James says: “Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” — James 4:1  There’s another version I like. Instead of the NIV, it says: “Don’t they come from pleasures that wage war in your members?”

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Now I can hear you. You’re sitting there thinking, “Dustin, that’s not right. That’s not true. The reason I have this quarrel is because that person is a jerk. That person is wrong. It’s not my fault. It’s not my desires within me that cause this division. It’s because they’re selfish. They’re unreasonable. They hurt my feelings. It’s their fault.” Okay. I get that. Listen—cool your jets. I hear you. But you don’t have to convince me. You have to convince God and James. Because I’m telling you what James says. I’m telling you what God says through the Apostle James. He says that those divisions among you in the church are the result of desires that battle within you. You say, “What in the world does that mean?” That question—“Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”—is what’s called a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious. The answer is yes. So, here’s what we need to understand:

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Your fights, your quarrels, and divisions come from your own desires and pleasures that you are willing to go to war to protect.

Let me say that again: The fights and quarrels and divisions that you have with people in the church come from your own desires and pleasures that you are willing to go to war to protect. Just like good works are the fruit of faith, division and quarreling are the fruit of our own desires battling within us.

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Desires That Lead to Division

James goes on to explain what that means. Watch what he says in James 4:2: “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.” — James 4:2

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So, here’s what happens: You desire something. You desire a new carpet, for example. And you really want that carpet to be blue. You have your reasons—maybe blue carpet makes you happy. That’s your desire. You want that desire fulfilled. Now, is it super important? No. But to you, it is. For some reason, blue carpet is going to fulfill something within you. And you may even have good theological reasons for it. But the idea of it not being blue makes you unhappy. It takes away your pleasure. So you get angry about it because you want to protect your feeling of happiness and fulfillment. You want your desire fulfilled, and you’re willing to fight for it. You might say, “Pastor, we need to do this event at church,” or “I want to do that Bible study,” or “I want to sit in that seat,” or “I want people to agree with me and affirm that I’m insightful and I know stuff.” And if you don’t get what you want—if your desire goes unfulfilled—you get angry. And James says: “So you kill.”

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Now, nobody in the blue and red carpet church fiasco killed anybody. But remember what Jesus said about killing and murder and anger?

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.” — Matthew 5:21–22 Jesus’ point was that the Pharisees thought they were righteous because they hadn’t physically sinned. But He said, “Have you ever been angry with someone? Then you’ve had murder in your heart.” So, when I get angry with my brother or sister, here’s what I’m saying: “You don’t have a right to take away my pleasure. How dare you take away what I want? I deserve this. And because you’re keeping it from me, I’m going to make you pay.”

I’ll make you pay by talking about you. I’ll make you pay by avoiding you. Why? Because within me, I had a desire. I wanted to be in charge of that ministry, and now you are. So because I didn’t get what I wanted, now I’ve got a grudge with you. And it’s just because I had that desire—and you kept it from being fulfilled. That’s where all the strife within your church comes from, according to James and according to God.

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The Danger of Idolatry in Our Desires

So what’s the solution? What’s the solution to quarreling? What’s the solution to having churches divided up? If the problem is not having my desires met, what do I do? Let’s ask James. He gives us two reasons why God’s people don’t get what they want—and neither of them has anything to do with anyone else. The first reason is found earlier in James 1:17: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” — James 1:17

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And in our passage, James says:

“You do not have because you do not ask God.” — James 4:2 Where do you go to get your desires and pleasures met? You go to the church, or to people, or to circumstances—and when you don’t get them, you blame others. But you were looking in the wrong place to begin with. You should have been asking God. “God, I want this. I think this would give me pleasure. I think this would be good. I want this for my friend, for me, for your kingdom. This is my desire.” But you never even asked God for it. You never even consulted Him.

If I seek my satisfaction and pleasure in something other than God, and I pray for it for my pleasure—what’s that called? That’s called idolatry. I’m seeking something else other than God. What did they do when they made the golden calf in Exodus? They said, “We don’t know what happened to Moses or that God, so let’s make a new god and follow him.” That’s idolatry.

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And when you start to see divisions in your church, it’s because there’s idolatry in your church. We need to ask: What’s the idol I’m looking to for happiness? What’s the thing other than God that I’m asking for? You might say, “Dustin, I prayed to God and He didn’t give me what I prayed for. I asked for blue carpet and they chose red. I asked for a bigger piece of chicken and they gave me a nugget.”

James anticipates that argument. He gives us the second reason: “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” — James 4:3 God didn’t give you what you asked for because if He did, He would be feeding the idolatry in your life. You were asking for something outside of God’s will—for your own selfish desires. God’s not going to give it to you because He doesn’t want to promote idolatry. He wants you to trust Him.

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Praying with the Right Motives

This is how we often come to God: “Hey, give me this thing for my pleasure, because I want it more than I want You. I think it’ll give me more pleasure than what I get from You. That’s why I’m asking for it—because I’m not getting the pleasure I want from You.”

So, we say, “Give me this thing that will satisfy me.” But it’s not from God. You don’t want what God offers, or else you’d be fine with Him not giving it to you. And if He gave it to you, He’d be feeding that idolatry. And God doesn’t want to feed that. We should be praying: “Not my will, but Yours be done.” — Luke 22:42

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Now, I didn’t get the red carpet—but it doesn’t really matter, because my motives were worldly. They weren’t about God. They were selfish. It was about idolatry. And the proof is that I cared more about the color of the carpet than about you and God’s desire for us to be unified and serve Him together. I cared more about carpet than I cared about you. That’s the proof. I was willing to divide over the carpet. That’s the proof that it was idolatry. That’s the proof that it was contrary to God—because it caused division, which is something God does not want.

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So, if I don’t get what I pray for, I can go back to God and say: “God, how were my motives wrong? What was it that I prayed for that was contrary to Your will? What idol was I trusting in for my happiness and satisfaction? Show me that, and draw me back to You. I want to seek my pleasure from You alone. I reject every idol I’ve set up to fulfill my desires.”

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Healing Division Through Humility and Unity

Are there divisions among you? If there are, James has taught us how to deal with them. Deal with them in yourself. Recognize whatever the idol is—whatever the thing is that you care about more than you care about the unity of God’s people—and resolve it. Go up to that person and say, “I’m sorry. You know what? This was the idol in my life. But I care about you way more than I care about any of that. Because that was just my own desire. And it wasn’t a good desire. It was a desire for an idol.”

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But what God wants is for you and me to be tight. God wants us to love each other. God wants us to serve each other. God wants us to go out and win the world for Him—together. Do we have a band, or did the band leave? Oh, there’s the band. Come on up. We’re going to do one last song. Sometimes the band leaves because they’re like, “Man, the guy’s preaching forever.”

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Let’s pray.